In 1840 Queen Victoria started the Western world’s love of white wedding dresses. Before then, brides simply wore their best dress.

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Your wedding should be one of the most memorable days in your life, for all the right reasons. Let’s talk about just the cake portion of your wedding. (Cake-Portion, see what I did there)

Part of getting your wedding prepared is the reception and of course the main centrepiece the cake. The cake can be any type from a simple style to the most elaborate. I have seen everything from obscenely expensive; a five tiered, four foot cake; to the relatively inexpensive, a giant pile of caramel glazed donuts with a bride and groom balanced on the top. 

When sitting down with a wedding cake designer they will offer a cake around 400 pounds and up.  Fella’s, I hear ya.  400 bloody quid for a cake.  But the nightmare doesn’t end there.  The designer will then go to work on your beautiful bride to be. The more decorative you get with the cake the more it will cost. If you decide to have each layer in the cake be a different filling the cost will also increase.  If you want 2 tiers it’s this much if you want 3 tiers it’s that much…..

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

This is about the time where you want to say to the missus, ‘you know what love, you choose.  I’m just gonna go and bang my head against the brick wall outside.’

DON’T DO IT!!!

When you come back she’ll be sitting there with an invoice for £1000 and a smile on her face that says, ‘I want this cake and if you don’t let me have it you are a heartless monster.’  Either that or you’ll get the standard line, ‘but honey, it’s our wedding day.’  Like that magically conjures up another credit card from the rabbit hole that says simply ‘Use Me.’

Only you can know how much you want to spend on the cake.  Remember that there are some ways to spend a little less if you have a restrictive budget.  A silly thing to do would to spend more on your wedding cake then you do on your wedding dress.  But don’t get me started on the dress, that’s a whole other blog.

The Best Man speech can be a daunting task for even the most intrepid of public speakers.  It brings with it a guarantee of notoriety for the remainder of the wedding.  Get it right and you will be admired and adorned with the mantle of the truly great friend.  Get it wrong and the bridesmaids won’t touch you with a bargepole.

So what do I do to create this masterpiece that will gain me backslaps aplenty I hear you cry.  The answer is simple… just read on.

Being a good speech-writer is like being a good cook.  Firstly, you must make sure you have all of the correct ingredients to suit your clientele.  A successful speech would be respectful but also funny whilst your comments to the bride and groom should be personal and sincere.  Throw all of these ingredients into the mixing bowl in equal measure and from it should rise a speech that walks the fine line between irreverence and respect whilst being appropriate for a general audience of all ages.  Using each ingredient in equal measure is as important as finding the right ingredients to begin with.  You don’t want to be known to grandma as ‘that awfully crude young man’ due to your recounting in detail the events of the stag night.  Equally, you don’t want earn yourself a reputation as a soppy git amongst the rest of the groomsmen because you were blubbing into your champagne by the end of the speech.

Your speech should mirror the groom’s personality.  Is he a prankster who laughs easily and can take a good joke at his own expense?  If so he can probably take a bit of a roasting, however, you don’t want to go too far with this – it’s all about balance remember.   On the other hand, maybe he is more traditional, serious or sentimental.  Again, your comments should reflect this.  Include more respectful anecdotes.  You can still slot in a few jokes but balance these out with plenty of sincere and respectful comments.

Some Best Man speeches go on way too long whilst others are not long enough.  If you find yourself fighting to be heard over the chatter that began as a whisper 10 minutes ago then you’ve probably overdone it.  Conversely, getting up and saying a few words before sitting down again can leave the party feeling that the anticipation of the speech was more exciting than the speech itself.  About 5 to 10 minutes is plenty.

Finally, you could have written the best speech in the history of Best Man speeches but with a poor delivery it can fall short of the praise that it deserves. 

Don’t rush it.  Remember the tortoise and the hare?  A smooth and assured delivery is as important as the subject matter.  Fumbling around for the words and sweating over your neighbour will probably get you a small clap by the end but who wants sympathy applause?  Take time to read your audience and if you induce the expected laughter, let it die down before you continue.

In a nutshell; research, plan, prepare and deliver with assurance for guaranteed success that will have future Best Men referring back to the Best Man bible that was your speech.